You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just took my morning after pill in the library
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize
