You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
