I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
