this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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