He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
