Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
