Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
