So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
