careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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