I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
