Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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