It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
one might say we're banned from that church
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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