they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
