Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
high people should be assigned attendants
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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