six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize