Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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