Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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