ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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