You smell like a Billy Joel song
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
