I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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