the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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