idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
