My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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