Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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