so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
