I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The struggles of a small town man whore
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
