When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
