The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
