The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize