We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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