watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize