kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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