yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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