she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
