The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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