Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just blew my weed a kiss
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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