let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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