As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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