On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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