around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
