My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
