we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
