Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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