I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
