ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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