I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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