D3 body, D1 cock
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It's never too late to be topless.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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