Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize