go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
