do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
why is half of my head shaved?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
