so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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