Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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