i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
