He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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