we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
