My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize