i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
