SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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