wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize